Category Archives: Women Issues

Sex on Campus: She Can Play that Game, Too

I was taught not to talk to strangers, now we have girls having sex with strangers.

First let me give you the facts of a study I conducted with executive women in Fortune 100 and 500 companies in a variety of industries. The topic of my doctoral dissertation was “Perspectives of Executive Women: Life Choices and Balancing Career with Marriage and Children”.

The women, I interviewed were in their 40s – 60s because it takes a 8-10 years for any junior executive, male or female, to gain the experience to move up the corporate ladder to earn a top executive position.

These executive women did it all.  They were married and had their first child in their 20’s, the majority having 2 -3 children.  Most remained married to their first husband.  Their husbands helped them with the children, jointly addressing scheduling priorities while pursuing their individual careers.

The women handled career, marriage and children by employing prioritization, time management skills and being the best employee, the best mother and the best wife, they could be.

Relationships are important and we learn to experiment and learn to build them in college, while studying, learning and developing skill sets for our future careers.

In a male dominated society women have always been a mystery.

We like it that way.

It is that irresistible allure that we, as women, have developed and perpetuated for millennia. That mystery has always helped us to level the social/sexual playing field, solidifying our place of power in society.

What is the long-term benefit for women when they engage in unemotional sex?  Women are, by nature, nurturers, enjoy being pursued and who control how men treat them.

Virtue is important and is what we should be teaching our daughters.  To get respect you must earn respect, in relationships and at work with your male co-workers.

Our relationship with men is the means by which we enhance our esteem, our confidence by which, along with our intellect and skills, we achieve our success.

Women need not only sex but also love and romance.  We want to be the only woman in our man’s life.  We want a man that loves and adores us as we love and adore him.

We can have it all!

 

40% of mothers are now the family breadwinner – Dr. Wendy

The Pew Research Center indicated that 40% of women are the family breadwinners.  Interestingly, 63% are single women and 37% are married women.

The study did not indicate the type of positions the women occupied. The share of married mothers, who out-earn their husbands, quadrupled from 1960 to 2011 to 15%.  Share of single mothers has tripled in 1960 to 2011 to 25%.

Another survey indicated that mothers but not their fathers are raising a growing number of lower-income children.  The effect shows more damage to sons than to daughters.  Sons were less likely to go to college and single mothers spent less time with their sons.  Therefore, the suggestion is that a two-parent household is more beneficial to the children.

The survey did show ambivalence about mothers working. The survey asked the question “should mothers work”?

-75% indicated working mothers predicted it was difficult to raise children and that it was bad for marriages
-50% thought it is better, if mothers stay home
-8% thought it is better, if fathers stay home
-80% indicated they did not want to return to the traditional role of the 1950s

The traditional male role, as breadwinner, is changing due to a number of factors and reasons for this change.

-Increase of births to single moms
-Increase in divorce rates over 50% and growing
-Recent recession and layoffs occurring more often to men at an earlier age
-Women are obtaining more college degrees and graduate degrees compared to their male counterparts

Psychologically, women and men are wired differently.  Organizational psychology has always indicated the masculine aspects of business focused on aggression, assertiveness, directness, confidence and independence.  This represents the traditional hierarchy structure of a corporation.

The feminine traits are described as intuitive, cooperative and collaborative and less hierarchy structure in a corporation. Therefore, creating a more team based approach focusing on communication and team leadership.

Interestingly enough, one study indicated that only approximately 1% of women reach positions as CEO’s, CFO’s CIO’s and Presidents.

Today, women have choices.  They can have careers, marriage and children.

This may lead to conflict.  Men had always assumed the traditional family role as the breadwinner.

Men have not changed over the generations in that they have always focused on providing for their wife and children. It was their sole responsibility and duty to do so.

Most women marry men who are as successful or more successful then they are.  I found in my research very few executive women wanted the man to stay at home and raise the children.

First, in a well-functioning family, everyone sacrifices to weather the bad times, assuming that the primary breadwinner will again be employed in a relatively short period of time.  The problem arises when joblessness is extended for a long period of time.  It can cause increasing stress on personal relationships and may result in a breakdown in traditional roles and the fabric of the family.

When the man is one of the long-term unemployed, women’s option to stay at home and raise the children is no longer an option.  They must seek employment, changing the dynamics of the tradition family, causing tension from unrealized expectations and unusual sacrifices.

Long-term unemployment and the egocentric loss for men, as “breadwinner”, can result in depression.

The depression can be so severe that the tasks of performing domestic chores; housework, cooking, laundry and dropping off and picking up the children at school and for their activities to help out the family is beyond them.  This may lead to the wife becoming resentful of her husband staying home.  In addition, the mother may have “guilt” feelings about not being there for her children.

The entire family fabric may become completely unraveled.  A woman may begin to ask herself, “If my husband can’t contribute to the family finances, why do I need him”?

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Mother’s Day: 10 ways to Connect and Grow Closer to your Mom

Mothers and daughters have a unique relationship bonding over the years.  As teenagers, we attempt to be different. Then we become adults and realize we are raising our daughters.  It gives us a greater appreciation for mom.

As women, we own “guilt” It is passed down from generation to generation by our mothers!

Mothers teach their daughters how to become women and the value of virtue in their lives.

Do something special with your mom, as we honor them Mother’s Day.

  • Find a picture of you and your mom and frame it for her on Mother’s Day.
  • Take her shopping.  Take her advice on an outfit and wear it, just for her, on Mother’s Day!  She will remember.
  • Ask her to tell you about her mother and when she was growing up and let her share the memories and pictures!
  • Let her share, pictures of you, yes, even the ones you want to hide.
  • Ask her advice and listen to it, even if you have already decided what you are going to do.
  • Let her do something special for you and then remember it and do the same for her on Mothers’ Day!
  • Prepare dinner in her house that’s her domain.
  • Spend the afternoon with her with no interruptions; turn off the cell phone. This also means no reading, watching TV or looking at magazines. Just spend quality time with her!
  • Invite, her mother, her sisters, her friends to spend an afternoon getting to know them – just the girls.
  • And last, yet most importantly, hug her, kiss her and tell her you love her!